Many people over the years have suggested, in all caring, that I "come out" to those that care for me. They tell me that it makes life easier not to have to live two lives, to not have to lie to people, deceive people, that you can be who you are. So, recently I took that step and spoke with my mother about it, telling her that I'm gay. Now, at 20, this brings about a fair portion of disappointment, denial, "maybe it's just a stage", you name it. At 40, it's more a point of trying not to laugh. Thankfully, she didn't say "No, duh, really", but "yes, Randy, we know" was very clearly expressed.
So, the question, do I come out to others? Tell the people at work? Tell my neighbors? Is it any of their damn business who I care for and who I invite to my bed? No!
I did have one coworker ask me "what, are you gay". I responded "what, are you stupid". It's amazing the level of invasiveness that some feel acceptable, and whether joking or serious the issue has no place in most conversation.
I've often wondered how some could joke about the issue. Some people will haze a gay couple with things like "oh, I wonder who's the man and who's the woman". Hell, I wonder that about a fair number of hetero couples I meet.
Being gay, being thought of as gay, I should say, casts an impression in some that gay means weak. Or, that gay means crazy. And yet, no one thinks about the fact that some in the closet who are thought quite sane or quite strong are, in fact, gay.
What am I saying with all of this? We are men. We are women. With no greater or lesser rights than any other man or woman. Going beyond those levels is inexcusably invasive and has no bearing on us as people, but it sure says a lot about the people asking the questions.
