I was off on my explorations....it's raining, so I'm not getting much work done today. I had some pizza and a beer as I watched "Once Upon a Time". I'm really liking that show. I've also grown to like "Grimm". I don't get to watch them on normal tv, but watch them here on the compy later. But, I digress... I was off on my explorations and came across this picture. It brought back memories and made me wonder about this lad. I guess that's the magic of good art, good photography; it makes us wonder about the person, the place, the concept....
I am like most people, I guess, in that I had a number of these moments when I was growing up. I look back on them now, these moments of quiet sadness amidst the chaos of childhood and adolescence, and wonder just what decisions I made in these moments that now shape my life.
Oh, we've all had these. We've all had this time in our lives where we separated from one we loved, thought we'd never be able to show our face again, or just wished life held something more and different. Lamenting our current position is perhaps the main title of adolescent depression. I never thought I'd be this old when I was in such a predicament as this lad. I thought I'd somehow escape my attractions to other lads and be married with kids of my own tearing about and destroying my home in their rambunctiousness. Somehow I just knew life would be like the fairy tales, like the tv shows, and I'd be mowing a white picket fenced yard trying to escape my wife.
Escape being the operative word. Escape reality. You know, I have a lot of respect for kids now who are able to face themselves in the mirror, knowing that they are different and yet still very worthwhile. It's hard for them to do that, I know, and we adults don't make it all that much easier all too often. So, as I look at that picture there, I think back on my own refusals to face reality, even the many ways I tried to escape life, period. The tv shows we watch....Once Upon a Time, indeed. The books we read, the rants and raves, and all in all it's just a form of escape. Can we be so brave to look into the mirror and see the truth....of ourselves, our worlds and the mistakes we've made and contributed to in others?
Well this is what was running through my mind for a bit today.....and then my pups jumped up into my lap - all 65 lbs of her - and reminded me that although my life hasn't turned out like the fairy tales, it's not so bad. I'm loved, and I have someone...something?...to love, even when I'm feeling down.
