A lesson learned this morning...

Today, a day that seemingly started well, I learned a lesson I should have already known. Today I learned how cliche's can be real, true, and visciously direct at times. I was a fool....ok, you already know that. What I mean, I was a fool to believe hopes over what I knew in my heart to be reality. A dear friend, a beautiful soul who loved me when my own family would not, who was my friend when I found there to be so few, a life I felt was sure to end in a few months but not right now....but not right now. Not so very soon! My friend and neighbor has passed on to be with her husband. I am somewhat in shock, lost, can't get my mind to work. I am glad I was able to speak with her on the phone yesterday, telling her how anxious I was to come visit When she was feeling better. I failed my friends, I failed. Please hear me now: Tomarrow isn't promised to any of us. Hug your friends and loved ones today. -randy.

A lesson from our youth...

In discussing recent events of prejudice and hatred, abusers, bullies, and the manner in which our society seems intent upon labeling people as lesser-than's, I recalled a beautiful memory; a lesson from my youth. I hope you like the clips....I wish I could have found the entire toon.

Miles asked "Who profits from prejudice? Who is behind the gay bashing, the abuse of our young people?" Isn't that a great question? I think there is a lesson to be learned from this above......

What do you think?

I have spoken to Miles and Scottie about this, and I know that there are others who feel the same....If you feel like you are being pushed beyond your limits, like life isn't worth living with the pain you feel right now, please remember that you are not alone. All of us have felt something similar to that and you are not alone! You are loved, needed, wanted, you are not alone. Write, let us know your pain and let us tell you...YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You, we! can get through anything, no matter how bad at the moment....life is beautiful, with moments of very ugly, scary, and weird veiws. No matter how bad, how embarassing, scary, or how much you feel like life isn't worth living.... it is only a rough spot on the road of this life and there are ways of getting through to the beautiful spots. Just hang on, reach out, and know...you are not alone! -randy.

Startled at Milkboys today...

Hello everyone... I stopped in at Milkboys today to see what was going on. I like that site... though it isn't quite designed for someone my age, it is geared to someone just learning about their sexuality and I guess I do fall into that role a bit. I was quite startled to read the following... and I hope you will go to Milkboys to read further(there is a link on this page): Homophobia Kills It is hardly surprising: If you keep refusing a minority basic rights, kids will grow up under the impression that members of said minority are somehow worth less than “normal” people, that it is ok to look down on them, to bully them. Realising this also means realising that you can’t just blame the bullies and their parents but that the government has the responsibility to make sure minorities have exactly the same rights as everyone else. The Unites States are further away from ensuring this than most other Western civilisations and the consequences are coming to light recently: •New Jersey: Gay student secretly taped having sex kills himself •Texas: 13-Year-Old shoots himself in the head over anti-gay bullying •California: Gay 13-Year-Old hangs self after reported bullying •Indiana: Teen’s suicide thought to be result of anti-gay bullying When growing up I hid my uncomfortable feelings for other boys because I was afraid of the reactions I would receive. I knew bullies, and being a big kid even did some myself...and of course it was because of the portions of my own life that I couldn't face. But, repression and depression and even a bit of regression hid a lot of my motivations for my actions and I just went on with life in a very non-living fashion. Now suddenly I'm faced with the fact that I've never really thought about this, but it's true isn't it? I've always thought about the classes here in America, but thought it just a matter of personal bias. But, parents - and society in general - does - assign status. In this country we have had a recent and ongoing debate on the "illegal immigrant" issue. The funny thing, I recently realized that I am the product of illegal immigrants. My family forebears came to this country through Canada and down into Minnisota. And, we Americans have had a fair run with "the lesser people".... the so-called Blacks (I say so-called because the "name" seems to change every generation or so" have been a very obvious recipient of this tag. Also, the Native Americans, in a very tragic manner. Then, there has also been the Irish, the Italians, Japanese, even the "hillbilly" and the "redneck" - and I would bet there has been a bounty of "lesser thans" in our history. For a "Land of the Free" we sure seem to like putting people into bondage! I am startled to be so slow to realize that the only way a decent person could do the indecent is by relegating someone to a lesser class; a lesser person. If they are a lesser person, they can have any indignity done and it's ok because they don't really matter as much. Right? That's just a downright scary and shameful practice. Scary because labels are often arbitrary and can be assigned at the whim of the mob. Shameful because I now have to sit down and examine my own "lofted status" over ..... well, that's the question isn't it? Who is lesser or greater than who? Foolishness runs deep and often silent, making its mark upon souls like a plague.

Ok, I'm tired of it. Give it a break!

At what point is enough enough? At what level of indecency, veiled racism, and out and out rude behavior is enough for those who don't particularly care for the ways and manner of our current leader? I get emails every day, I hear people talk, and don't even mention "focks news" - who rutinely fock up anything they bother to bring to the attention of the viewing public. The flat simple fact is I'm too damn tired of hearing it. Cut the guy some slack! Do I like everything he's done? No! But, then if I look at everything I've done I find there are things I don't like there either. The constant badgering is not only ruthless, but truthless. I get these "do you know..." emails that turn out to be exagerations at best, and usually simple inuendo. I want the truth. Fighting against a policy or group of ideas with lies lessens the one beneath the other. Yes, I know, he didn't live up to everything he said he would do. You seem somehow surprised. Why? The saying goes "there are lies, damn lies, and political promises." The simple truth of the matter is that I would just love to see what could happen if one of our leaders actually could acheive something without having to bribe Senator ______ or buy half of his own party, etc. I want to see some proposals go to the vote and people say, 'yeah, that could work'. They sell their votes without a thought towards shame, and then blame and squeel about someone else for 'not accomplishing' all thier purported goals. Let's cut to the chase: Obama is our leader. He represents the country, he leads our hopes for the future, and his every decision is going to effect our future. I want someone who won't be afraid to say something becuase he will be ripped simply for speaking. We don't have to agree with everything he says; that's the great thing about this country. But, have some intelligence in your argument against his policy decision. If you aren't smart enough to say something with intelligence and facts, I'd really rather you just shut the hell up. thank you. -randy.

This song always reminds me of how lonely I am at times...

...and yet it is a favorite. A beautiful song.