Monday, April 18, 2011

No, someone made this up, right?

Yes, someone did make this up. They fooled me....and I am laughing at myself for being got.

And I quote from the above linked page: "Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? is a Bible based book for Christian Pparents who by lack of faith can't afford to send their childrent to a decent Christian school. Their precious youngsters are infected by the secular filth and lies being taught by unsaved teachers in America's upblic school system. The book teaches parents how to easily explain to their children that Easter (as it is celebrated by the Unsaved) has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ but is actually a holiday celebrating lewd and sexually explicit pagan rituals of fertility. "It's ot that difficult to understand," says Author/Creation Scientist, Dr. Daniel Cameroon. "In the old days, deluded pagans would gather round and hump like bunnies on Easter Sunday because they thought it would make their tomatoes grow faster." Dr. Cameroon explains that it doesn't matter what god or idol the Pagans were humping under on Easter Sunday, because any god other than "Jesus" is "Satan". Dr. Cameroon dedicates four chapters in the book to Easter Eggs. "Easter Eggs are one of the wiliest tools of the Devil," he says. "Pagan kids didn't have anything to do on Easter Sunday because their mommies and daddies were stuck in a false temple all day, naked and writhing around with their neighbors in Satanic orgies of the flesh. You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were awway from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn't have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint,"he says. "But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historieans would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer's Testicles!.........And I won't say a word more about it! I don't want to ruin the book for you"".

I am speechless. I am unbelievably agog.

Oh, here's part of their best seller list:

  • Nancy Boy Chrissy, the Bedwetting Sissy! by Pastor Deacon Fred.
  • The Little Jew: Levi, The Dancing Cockroach by Gloria Steinhunt.
Oh, and here's a review by Pastor Deacon Fred: ..."The evidence is there, and thank you for taveling to the caves of Kenya to brave the dangerous coloreds in the region!.......It damands a full cleansing in every home of ALL evidence of Easter eggs, Easter egg paint, and rounded dippers. I sent two of my grandchildren to the Landover Baptist Memorial Hospital before even reaching Chapter 7, and if you are a True Christian (he trademarks those two words).....

Now, that is the same author of the above book "Nancy Boy...". I'm willing to bet those kids are going to be in need of more hospitalization soon due to this cat.

Oh, this is funny, too: List price: 18.95 Our price: 27.99 You save: Nothing. Only Jesus saves. Availability: usually ships within 24 hours (if Jesus wants it to).

Folks, these people are serious!!! Voting. And likely armed!!!

Oh, My Lord! There's more: Daddy? Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? by Pastor Deacon Fred

Ok, no joke, this is - are you ready? - a coloring book for kids. Don't believe me, check the link.

Again, I quote:<p>

Remember dear Grandma, who baked so well?

Soon she will be baking - this time in Hell!

Dear Daddy, why Grandma? What did she do?

Don't question it child, or God will GET YOU!

Ok, if you've gotten this far, if you don't know whether to laugh or scream, see comment #3 and follow the link. this one got me,too, folks....but damn it was funny!

you gotta be kidding, right?

Nope, this one is for real....all the scarier. Now you can see how the above one got me.

A bit of the's been a long wait. Sorry.