Friday, October 1, 2010

Startled at Milkboys today...

Hello everyone... I stopped in at Milkboys today to see what was going on. I like that site... though it isn't quite designed for someone my age, it is geared to someone just learning about their sexuality and I guess I do fall into that role a bit. I was quite startled to read the following... and I hope you will go to Milkboys to read further(there is a link on this page): Homophobia Kills It is hardly surprising: If you keep refusing a minority basic rights, kids will grow up under the impression that members of said minority are somehow worth less than “normal” people, that it is ok to look down on them, to bully them. Realising this also means realising that you can’t just blame the bullies and their parents but that the government has the responsibility to make sure minorities have exactly the same rights as everyone else. The Unites States are further away from ensuring this than most other Western civilisations and the consequences are coming to light recently: •New Jersey: Gay student secretly taped having sex kills himself •Texas: 13-Year-Old shoots himself in the head over anti-gay bullying •California: Gay 13-Year-Old hangs self after reported bullying •Indiana: Teen’s suicide thought to be result of anti-gay bullying When growing up I hid my uncomfortable feelings for other boys because I was afraid of the reactions I would receive. I knew bullies, and being a big kid even did some myself...and of course it was because of the portions of my own life that I couldn't face. But, repression and depression and even a bit of regression hid a lot of my motivations for my actions and I just went on with life in a very non-living fashion. Now suddenly I'm faced with the fact that I've never really thought about this, but it's true isn't it? I've always thought about the classes here in America, but thought it just a matter of personal bias. But, parents - and society in general - does - assign status. In this country we have had a recent and ongoing debate on the "illegal immigrant" issue. The funny thing, I recently realized that I am the product of illegal immigrants. My family forebears came to this country through Canada and down into Minnisota. And, we Americans have had a fair run with "the lesser people".... the so-called Blacks (I say so-called because the "name" seems to change every generation or so" have been a very obvious recipient of this tag. Also, the Native Americans, in a very tragic manner. Then, there has also been the Irish, the Italians, Japanese, even the "hillbilly" and the "redneck" - and I would bet there has been a bounty of "lesser thans" in our history. For a "Land of the Free" we sure seem to like putting people into bondage! I am startled to be so slow to realize that the only way a decent person could do the indecent is by relegating someone to a lesser class; a lesser person. If they are a lesser person, they can have any indignity done and it's ok because they don't really matter as much. Right? That's just a downright scary and shameful practice. Scary because labels are often arbitrary and can be assigned at the whim of the mob. Shameful because I now have to sit down and examine my own "lofted status" over ..... well, that's the question isn't it? Who is lesser or greater than who? Foolishness runs deep and often silent, making its mark upon souls like a plague.


Anonymous said...

Hello Randy. First let me say I am sorry at the oppression that seems to run in our country against anyone who shows a difference. Especially in childhood as that is when we tend to figure out who we are and to need to "experiment" with many different things to find out.

I also grew up when we were being bomb barded with the idea that gay people were horrible abominations in the eyes for a vengeful God and a falsely moral populous. I lived in a backward family that had no use for those different from them.

My step father on finding out I was gay , after I had done two tours in the US military and was currently employed, informed me that his life was ruined. Because now he would have to take care of me the rest of his life as "no one will hire a gay man". Indeed he bought a cemetery plot for me as he knew I would "have no family in my life and would be alone".

Well I have made a good and happy life with some one who loves me deeply for 20 years. I have had homes, and cars and lived well. Funny but his straight son, who is a drug addict and former? drunk has never left home and my step father took care of him all his life, until he died and that son is still living alone in his mothers home.

I have seen the insides of people. They are the same regardless of what language spoke, color of skin, or even lifestyle. I have seen the most humble and cried with them, and I have treated with the best of my ability the most arrogant and hateful. I have seen both die, and have hoped the best for all.

I hope some day we will all learn to love enough that this conversation will seem totally silly and unnecessary to those of the future.

Randy, I wish you the best, and thanks for making me think. Hugs.

randy said...

Hi Scottie;
I'm just now getting up and becoming aware that the darn sun doth shine again...bah!
You never told me how often I would need to examine my life when you encouraged me to start a blog. I have learned so much over the past while about myself...sometimes somewhat troubling things and sometimes things that make me sit a little higher in my chair. I am learning how important it is to treat people well..not for them, not for me, but period.
As far as your father, I believe it all the sadder that he was so blind.
Hugs to you, my friend. -randy.