Monday, January 31, 2011

Fear

Hi Everyone;
I just read a very interesting article on Milkboys. Please visit http://www.milkboys.org/article/eek-a-male/
Fear is baseless all too often, and in a global news network where they are begging for your eyes to see the products they are peddling, it has simply become a sales technique - all the sadder. The mind, if I recall my freshman psychology classes from way-back, generalizes very well. Stereotypes come about because it is simpler to lump a potential threat in with the "danger" file so to quickly react than it is to ponder if that saber-toothed tiger is hungry or playful.
But, unless you know something I don't, there are few of those particular tigers about anymore. And yet, we in America seem to be confounded and surrounded by fears. Personally, I blame the tv. If you watch long enough you will realize that you don't dare go outside for fear of getting robbed, killed, hit by a car, sun poisoning, air pollution, ya-da, ya-da. But, I don't dare stay inside for fear of being killed by falling furniture, asbestos, death by Doritos....it reminds me of an old joke where the man laments hearing that 90% of accidental deaths occur less than 3 miles from the home - - he hasn't been home since.
"One of the things which danger does to you after a time is -, well, to kill emotion. I don't think I shall ever feel anything again except fear. None of us can hate anymore - or love."---- Graham Greene - The Confidential
I have shared with you how I've lived my life in a form of fear. I've feared to be true to my desires because....what will people think? My fears have placed me in a position of loneliness and being alone (yes, they are separate issues). But, as you also know, I'm working on that.
"What are fears but voices airy?Whispering harm where harm is not.And deluding the unwaryTill the fatal bolt is shot!"---- Wordsworth
I keep coming back to the thoughts expressed in the Milkboys article. I hope you read it. It offers anecdotes of moments when men have been feared despite doing what can only be described as helpful. Also, men have feared to help because "what will be said?". What is the end of this path?
"Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake."---- Edgar Wallace - The Clue of the Twisted Candle (1916)
When we begin to fear, we stop thinking. How often I've heard this statement! And, yet despite that simple understanding, it is easier to fear than it is to think, to understand, to hope and even to love. Fear becomes the master, the ruler, and the more we fear the greater our worship of that quiet killer.
What we fear comes to pass more speedily than what we hope."---- Publilius Syrus - Moral Sayings (1st C B.C.)
You have probably found yourself with two main thoughts if you've gotten this far...one being examples in your own life where you have seen fear or felt it and it's stopped you. The second....why is randy putting up all of these quotes? Well, to the second, I wanted to show that the simple understanding of the situation is so long in history, so deep in our culture's literature, so forward in our minds, and yet it still rules our days. Why?

11 comments:

Scottie said...

I blame the demoniacal portrayal of men around children on two groups. First one is politicians who love to sound grandiose and make like they are acting to save the world...example, who could vote against any bill that is hyped to protect and save children no matter how stupid or fake the reasons or actual law...it sounds good on TV and gets them votes...Plus they can claim their detractors want to hurt children instead of just not liking their law as it is written.

The second group I blame for this twisted view of nature, people and life is the religious organizations that keep spreading the message that any thing dealing with sex is horrible wrong. They take simple common sense to the extreme the same way that ones who make women wear coverings from head to ground do. They want to demoniac human nature so badly that we all are afraid to even hugs each other.

Hugs and loves,
Scottie

Micky said...

I am very, very well aware of the distrust which women have placed around men so that they, women, can dictate how kids are brought up.

I am also heartened that two of the biggest erstwhile supporters of this vilification of men have recently begun to recant.

And in a nasty way I'm actually quite pleased that in the UK we've recently seen the first prosecutions of WOMEN for child abuse.

I think the tide is beginning to turn here but there's a heck of a long way to go.

randy said...

Scottie;
I like what you said about the politicians.... how does one say the bill is wrong without sounding "anti-family" "anti-child" etc.
And, your thoughts on the religious zealots is interesting too. It's always interesting that Abraham was the father of two peoples, honored and lifted high by both, and yet an adulterer and, not sure, but I think a liar. Sex, alcohol, etc., all are acceptable in the Bible...when did things change?
Great comments. Thankyou Love and hugs to you, my friend. -randy.

randy said...

Hi Micky;
It is so sad that a segment of our population is devoid of male interaction. How is a young man to grow up and be a solid person if he is alone? Thank you for the comment. -randy.

Anonymous said...

@Scotty and @Micky:
another point: here in Germany most teacher in elementary-school are women -- most parent in one-parent-family are women -- Where are the male-role-modells in the life of these kids in such one-parent-families. Where can discover boys from those families there own male-life?
Greetings Nikki

Micky said...

Anonymous: Yes. In the town where we live there are three junior schools (up to 11 y/o) and one Secondary (11 - 18). No child in this town has a male teacher until he is 13.

Thank heavens I'm now starting to see this identified as a 'problem' - which is certainly an improvement!

Incidentally the head of our second biggest children's charity has just said that the current chronic lack of people willing to foster kids should be seen as a call to the gay community to come forward. Certainly the law was changed about three years ago to permit gay people to foster and adopt but there's few Social Services departments (which are dominated by women, of course) who are allowing any such thing!

Even Elton John and David had to use a surrogate to have a son - they too were turned down by the women at Social Services!

Anonymous said...

Hi Randy,
' found a way to comment on your site as anonymous :)
you said:
"And, your thoughts on the religious zealots is interesting too. It's always interesting that Abraham was the father of two peoples, honored and lifted high by both, and yet an adulterer and, not sure, but I think a liar. Sex, alcohol, etc., all are acceptable in the Bible...when did things change?"
I would not ask: "when did things change?"
I'd rather ask 'WHY' did that change?"
Answers from that direction might give us insights, as to the interests different groups have for what happens.

That is mostly the better approach:
- Why?
- in whose interests is that?
<3

randy said...

Hi everyone;
Some great comments and responses. Nikki and Micky,I wanted to mention that it wasn't until I was in the 5th grade...roughly 10-years old...that I had my first male teacher. He was a great influence on my life and I think of him to today. No great reason that I can think of, just general reasons. We are a society of growing people cared for by part-time parents, part-time teachers, coaches, etc. We must work outside the home...I know that although I live alone, I would currently spend far greater time at my job than I could with my children. The raising of our kids is done, 8-hours + a day, by basic strangers. To trust, or to not trust a child to someone's care due only to their gender is surely going to have an effect for the future. What does that tell children? What model does it set forth for growing into a man? And to follow your question, Micky, why is it that someone would rather a child be in "the system" rather than in the loving care of someone...just becuase that someone is gay?
One of the harshest influences on my life was a woman. She didn't sexually abuse me, but she physically and emotionally abused me on a daily basis. I had no defense, I couldn't cry foul, I had no one to turn to that would take it seriously. Just because you are a man doesn't mean you are a horrible person bent on the destruction of some child...and just becuase you are a woman doesn't me you aren't.
I would love to hear more of you sing out and present your thoughts. One of the interesting things I find is that I may present a view...and find others disagree or find aspects of the view more important than I did. So, your comments and ideas are very important to me.
Also, please give me a "name" when commenting under "anonymous" so I know how to refer. But, second anon. I need to think on your question. You ask difficult questions! Thanks! HUGS! randy.

scottiestoybox.com said...

Hello Randy, Just wanted you to know I dropped by. Hugs,
Scottie

randy said...

Thanks, Scottie;
Great to have you here, as always. r.

randy said...

To Anon <3, who asked such a difficult question;
I must say, I'm not sure. I have some ideas, and they sit a bit controversial, so I hope that I don't offend. Here goes...
My education is Judeo-Christian...I fear I have little understanding of other religions. The Jewish tradition, I believe, has the house of Levi caring for the religios education in the early Old Testement. This tradition continued for some time. The Roman Catholic Church, in the Nicene era, the Constantine era, etc., established around the fall of one philosophy and the rise of another. This rise created a vacume and established a new government. In both cases, a power structure is established in which a group speaks for God, instructs others in what pleases God, and establishes a form of authority. Well, we all know that even with the best of intentions, man is fallible enough to succumb to the corruption of authority and power.
I have always believed that there is more to man than his "sins". Yet, some would have you believe your "sins" more important than your primary motivations.
I understand that was how things were "changed" in the New Testement. It was quickly apparant that it would be all but impossible to meet all the "laws" of the Old.... and yet, certain "laws" still seem to be pushed to show oneself "holy" or "acceptable". I think it is just more power, authority, and the inevitable corruption that comes when we judge someone by an action instead of their heart.
So, you asked who benefits...there you are. The people who would seek power and self-righteously dictate based on a simple activity rather than the heart.

If you want to see a beautiful person, seek one who is simply doing his best to be the best person he can be. If you want to see a miserable one, that is the one who binds himself in rules he will never be able to maintain.
So goes my opinion...for whatever that's worth.

Dang! You ask difficult questions! hugs! randy