I've been working through another of my reoccurring depressions. I only mention it for those who wonder about dry posting, my lack of response to comments, etc. I am fortunate that I deal with a very minor form of depression, but I find that it comes upon me more often. So, it is one thing I have learned to work around and I've even learned that responding to sadness with laughter has a curative effect. My very good friend in Florida is great medicine for me.
In reading this article (following), I am reminded again of my own experiences. I have struggled with my own identity. I have too often had such desire to be liked, to be accepted, and yet I have repeatedly failed. It is strange for me that when I am working with the animals, just being me, that I feel so incredible at the privilege.
As a younger man and teen, I studied the Bible. Not to the extent of being an expert, not anywhere close, but I know what it says. If one is looking closely, the Bible is an explanation to the Hebrew nation that their struggles are all explainable and understandable as a plan of God. We all need that, I guess; that belief that there is more to life than the pain and heartache that life sometimes brings to us. We all need to feel that we are important, cared for, and that there is hope. And, to a great extent, we need to know that whatever we are doing it is the right thing.
Religion is great for this. Religion gives structure. Religion tells us what to do in what situation, and where we will be at the end of it all. As a person who studied psychology and sociology, I get that. As one who studied the Bible, I also feel that pull, that need for a loving God who will hold me and tell me that I am forgiven, that I did ok, that I am welcome. And, yet, as a gay man, I am dismayed to find that others who call themselves by the same religious identification I have regard me as evil, destined for hell and damnation. And, as a one-time christian, I am shocked and embarrassed by the judgemental and hateful words coming from those who were commanded to love.
I have stumbled upon a strange understanding of life; I want so very much to be Christ-like, and I want so very much to never be thought of as christian.
Please read the following article if you wish. I found it heartbreaking and far too real.