Saturday, November 20, 2010

Around and around they go, where my thoughts can be found...no one knows!

Hello all;
I had a few wandering thoughts today, somehow they seemed to come together with an actor....shown here....who I find not particularly likable. I think I first felt that way when he did the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I grew up on that movie...it was one of the first books I ever read, willingly. Even read the sequel, The Glass Elevator. But, what sort of struck me was how this man has played so very many rolls. Some were tough, some crazy, some lovable and, well, many were just plain weird. And, it made me think of all the rolls we play in our daily lives.
A for instance: my family is coming to my house for Thanksgiving. Wee! Ok, I love my family, just maybe not in my house...for more than a day. I think I have them for 10. So, first...they don't know about you. Sorry, we will just have to keep things on the down low while I play the dutiful son. I may not return in any assemblance of sanity. That happens around my family. It's like having a guest with the flu....they stay for a while, coughing and hacking and after a bit they leave..but now you have the flu. Ok? Same thing...just, well, these folks are nuts.
I thought about how some people live so differently during the day in the working, etc., world, and come home a totally different person. I thought about the working man who comes home and yells at his kids, beats his wife, partner, etc., for the stress he has from work. Would work change if the bosses knew he was so stressed and taking it out on the family? I thought about nudists....I wondered what they do on Casual Friday? Ok, bad joke...but I wonder why is it that we must play these rolls in society different from the rolls we play at home? Why should we care what strangers think of us? Why should we conform to a false culture?
I read an article today in a blog run by a nudist. He spoke about shame, specifically body shame. Isn't that just the oddist thing? Do you suppose native people find themselves ashamed of their body? I don't recall ever hearing of it. It's just skin.... and yet it defines our expectations, our thoughts and fears...even hopes. I grew up in a very body conscious home. I didn't walk about in my undies, and I was always very uncomfortable without a shirt. Can't even tell you why. But, I look back on things and wish I could have been more free. I want that now, and yet I still get nervous walking from my bathroom to my bedroom...what if someone is looking in my window and sees? They'll think I'm a perv! Of course, the real question would be why were they looking in my window....but it's my thinking that's the issue. Even when no one is supposed to be looking at me, I must conform to their rules and expectations. I have to play the role.

6 comments:

J said...

Hey Randy! Very interesting post today. It is strange that we have all these different roles we play when we are with different people or in different situations. I am sure you play a role with your family that differs from the one you play for us. I have my family role, friend role, my internet role, and my business role, blah, blah, blah. Too many roles!

I grew up in a very body conscious home too. I never saw my dad without a shirt on. Us boys didn't go around without a shirt on either. Walk around in underwear? LOL, not in a million years. I wonder why I have always been nervous getting undressed around people. It took me years of living alone before I would even leave the bathroom door open when I took a shower. How disgusting would have been if someone would have seen my body? Like you said, it is just skin.

These roles are so ingrained that it is almost impossible to change them. Life would be a lot easier if we could just jettison the different roles and be our real self.

Micky said...

Yes, 'roleplay - it has a lot to answer for.

I had friends whose parents were far less embarrassed about nakedness between family members a home than were mine. And yet, at school and other places we went it was thought completely normal for boys to get changed together, see each other naked and shower together naked.

I had one standard of behaviour at home and another at school and some other places.

randy said...

Hey J;
Isn't it funny about those roles? And, what's even stranger is that we are able to maintain them. I hugely agree with you that it would be so much better if we could just be ourselves. I've been reading a bit about the boy cheerleaders, boys in beauty pagents, and some about those kids that killed themselves due to bullying, abuse, etc. Life is too precious to live it for strangers, and yet that's what I keep doing. I have a lot yet to learn.
Thank you so much for your comment. -randy.

randy said...

Hi Micky;
Yeah, I remember going to my friends houses...some would walk about in their undies without a thought. It was just the way it was. I remember thinking that so very cool. Those same boys had seemingly little trouble in the gym lockerroom...they were confident of themselves, if not their abilities, and seemed to do well because of, perhaps, having one less thing to worry about. I do recall having some trouble in the locker room, getting undressed in front of all the boys, but it was what was expected and far be it from me to buck the system. Oh, if I only knew then.... thank you for your comment. As you know, they mean a lot! -randy

J said...

Just a short comment. Actually my internet role is closest to the real me. I can be myself here and don't have to mold myself to what others think I should be. I don't have to hide that I am gay on the internet, if someone gets rude or abusive it is easy to delete their comment or just move on, it is not always that easy in real life. Hugs, JR

randy said...

Hi JR;
You know, I find that I'm more able to be me here, too. But, perhaps a bit better...I don't lose my temper, I send off hugs, that sort of thing... things I need to do better on the other side of the keyboard. Thank you for that "short". -randy