Monday, April 2, 2012

Hugs

http://milkboys.org/article/hugs-sex-insanity/
Once the memory of their school days starts to fade, many adults think the troubles of this time are not much of a burden compared to the problems they have to face in their world. But I’m sure everyone who’s still in school or was not too long ago will recognise that there are many things that can make an ordinary day at school seem like hell, something you might at some point even think you don’t have the power to endure any longer.

No matter if it’s bullying, problems at home or “just” the normal pressure that comes with what seems to be a planned out school “career” nowadays with parents apparently thinking that their kids are doomed if they don’t study for hours every day once they attend kindergarten.
And everyone who was lucky enough to have some loving friends helping them through such days will tell you that there are some little things that can mean so much, that can give you the confidence you need to face these problems once again, that can be a game changer in the harsh world school has become for many kids.
A hug from a friend is one of these simple, yet incredible powerful things.

But not everyone is seeing hugs for what they are: A way to embrace your friends, a way to comfort someone who is in need, a way to save someone’s day. For some people hugs are a threat. A dangerous act that leads to something these people fear more than the devil itself: Sex.

I would be preaching to the choir here if I point out that this is, of course, utter nonsense; that there is nothing sexual about hugs. That not every time people touch each other it’s a ritual to initiate a wild orgy of teenage sex full of sweat, cum and endorphin. Hugs are just that: hugs.
But some societies are so scared by the idea of two people loving each other, as friends or as a couple, that they don’t even dare to use the word hug. Instead they come up with technical terms that are outright disgusting in their lifeless blandness. A hug becomes a “PDA”, a “Public Display of Affection”, a term that would easily fit into Orwell’s 1984.
Once they do this it can’t really surprise anyone when they start to outlaw hugs. More and more schools all over the Unites States actually state in their school rules that hugs are not allowed or that students can’t come closer than 30 centimetres to each other. The school that banned hugging as an “unsuitable physical interaction” was just the latest example, this is going on for years now.
The hypocrisy of a system in which weapons are glorified and a film about a game that consists of kids slaughtering each other is celebrating one of the most successful opening weekends in cinema history while the mere slip of a nipple of a female singer causes enough controversy and outrage to keep the nation’s media busy for weeks and weeks is hardly worth pointing out since it’s so painfully obvious. It’s this kind of hypocrisy that leads to schools prohibiting hugs while bullying gay teens is defended as “freedom of religion”.
It this really the world we want to live in? Is this how we want the next generations to grow up? Under the impression that affection is something dirty, that caring for each other is “inappropriate”? I don’t have any solutions handy here. But I do believe that it’s time to do something. To make it better for American kids and to make sure this attitude won’t spread to other parts of the world.

But what do you do in the face of insanity?


Hi Friends;
  I read that and just shook my head.  We are a social people, conveying a great deal of subconscious and cultural meaning in touch.  We have all sorts, from a handshake or light punch on the arm to a flying American football tackle.  It's all about being part of the group, part of the community, part of humanity.
  The image to the right of two teens hugging may come to some as inappropriate.  Should it? 
  Is this one then so horrible as well?
 

Who gets to suddenly have that power to dictate how we will demonstrate camaraderie?  What gave them the right?
  As an adult, I look back on my school years and think of the many times a simple bit of contact would have gone such a very long way.  A simple sharing of the moment, a gesture to let someone know they are not alone.  Oh I wish I could be a parent in that school district, because I would organize a demonstration of kids walking arm in arm, of their parents walking right behind them daring the pompous school officials to say a word.  Well, I'd like to think I would.  I'd think about it....
  The problem is that we as a people have a tendency to simply shrug and let things slide by.  We just want to live our lives - go to work, eat too much while we watch a bit of tv and yell for our favorite teams.  In our desire to simply live our own lives, we lose track of the psychos that keep finding their way into leadership, like mosquitoes to a bare arm in August, until suddenly we find ourselves being sucked dry.  So, I declare a war...

Shel Silverstein... the greatest poet ever!
Sorry.... not quite part of the post, but had to be in here somewhere....
 
Well, I've made my point.   Hugs everyone......  Oh, damn. 
 
 

7 comments:

Sammy B said...

Hello Randy
I saw this earlier in the evening, and mentioned it to my daughter, who, given her school experience in the UK, was incredulous that anyone should even try to 'outlaw' hugs amongst friends. Take away the socialisation inherent in humans, and the consequences are often horrific - the Stanford 'prison experiment' springs to mind. Or, indeed, the Holocaust.

Love & best wishes
Sammy B

Scottie said...

hello Randy. I agree with you. I also made a post on this subject. I have often wondered at a people who would find intimacy traumatic, unsightful, illegal, yet finds totally carnage and violence to be a joyful celebrated event, eagerly shared with the youngest members of society.

Many species are dependent on socialization and that includes frequent and intimate touch to be healthy. Cats are one, and so are humans.

I am at a loss today for us. Think I need to take a break from the internet and play a video game to recenter my mind. I like the non- violent, puzzle solving portal games. Hugs, Scottie

randy said...

Hi Sammy;
I'm really not sure I understand the administrators of this school. But, you hit it on the head... if we begin to make simple human touching illegal, what is next?
I took a sociology course from a prof. who was a social worker specializing in elder care. This was nearly 20 years ago, but I still recall her story about an elderly woman who was having problems... and all she needed in the end was a hug. Someone to simply hold her for a moment. Touch her.
David Carridine had this gesture in his kung fu take offs where he would reach out and cup the actors cheek and neck. I always saw that as amazing. Not sure why, I guess becuase that's not something I would do.
Well, I do say HUGS!
randy

randy said...

Hi Scottie;
I didn't realize you had. Sorry. I actually flipped over to your page to look and got caught up in that Ramsey story... couldn't think after that. Still can't.
I have issues with people touching me. I don't think I ever told you... but you likely understand. Yet, one of my favorite activities, if I can tell a secret just to you, is to have my hair cut. I put it off because I don't like to be touched, but I've come to realize that I need touch.
We all do, the young especially.
What will come of people who, like me, weren't given a lot of touch as kids? Who were told that it was bad? And, to put such a tag on it... PDA?
As far as your games... I love the jigsaw games. Do you do those?
Again, I say HUGS.
randy

Anonymous said...

American students - takes to the streets!!!
American parents - accompanies your children - takes to the streets!!!
The next election is coming soon.

That picture about the people-power is so great - public opinion can change very quickly and suddenly (at least here in our country).
Nikki

randy said...

Right on, Nikki!

randy said...

Oh, this is so wrong...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZnmTiqEikg&feature=related